


You're My Home

by OnlyOneKingLoki



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Hancock is best bacon mayor boy, I've had this saved on my laptop for a year and only just edited it, Nightmare, Suggestive language, a bit of angst, author has forgotten how to properly tag plz forgive, author regrets absolutely fucking nothing, nothing explicit but a slightly less than wholesome moment, rated mature out of an abundance of caution, sup fellow ghoul fuckers, we say the 'fuck' word here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneKingLoki/pseuds/OnlyOneKingLoki
Summary: The sole survivor has a nightmare, and a certain ghoul mayor provides comfort.
Relationships: John Hancock/Female Sole Survivor, John Hancock/Sole Survivor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	You're My Home

I only remember bits of that night prior to waking up, the first and foremost of which being how damn painful that scream was as it tore out of my throat. The second was an overwhelming sense of fear and the need to escape.

“Woah, woah, Sunshine. Breathe,” I heard a gruff voice say. I looked around alarmed and breathing heavily.

“Cold…It’s so cold,” I gasped between breaths. “Why is it so cold?”

John hugged me close. I was finally able to recognize that it was him by his scent. Jet, gunpowder, and something distinctly John. I cuddled into his arms and felt tears coming to my eyes. My breathing was gradually slowing, and the fear retreating. I’d seen that day again. My husband’s death…my son’s kidnapping…and the cold, endless oblivion of the cryo pod.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe,” Hancock said in his soothing, raspy voice. I was so embarrassed, but I couldn’t make myself let go of him. Fuck. I’d done so well hiding my nightmares up to this point. “I’m right here I promise.”

When I had calmed down and stopped shaking, John looked into my eyes.

“Now, you want to tell me what happened, Sunshine?” he asked, and I sighed. I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I had never told Hancock what happened in the vault, and I hadn’t planned on it. He had always been the kind of person who understood when somebody didn’t want to bring up their past, and I was grateful that he had extended that courtesy to me.

“I…I think first I need to show you the Vault.” He looked confused but nodded his head. As we exited the house I’d built in Sanctuary, Preston Garvey looked up.

“Everything alright? I heard screaming,” he said looking us both over and seeing we weren’t hurt.

“We’re fine. I need to take John to the Vault. Can you hold down the fort until we get back?” Garvey gave a solemn salute, and I returned it before leading John down the road. Hancock was silent as we walked. Normally he would be making comments on the surrounding landscape or joking about a ghoul walking into a bar, but I think he could tell that there was something different in the atmosphere tonight. We arrived in mere moments, the familiar site of the vault panel greeting me like something from a bad dream. I told John where to stand and pressed the button to lower the vault platform. The two of us went down together in silence. It wasn’t tense, just solemn. John may not have known what was about to happen, but he damn well knew it was going to be hard for me to endure. I felt his hand slip into mine and squeeze gently. I reciprocated, hoping he wouldn’t be scared off once he saw what I was planning to show him.

The platform stopped and the grate rose, allowing the two of us to step into the vault. My hand was still in John’s as we walked through the halls. I could still picture my neighbors all in various states of distress as they donned their Vault 111 jumpsuits. As we reached the room with the cryo pods that my family and I had been stuck in, I froze in place.

I could feel John’s eyes on me as tears threatened in my own. Even though I’d told Garvey what happened, I’d never shown anyone this before.

“Sunshine…” he said quietly as he realized how close I was to tears. “Are you alright?”

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t bring myself to. I simply stepped forward again with my hand still in John’s. The pods in the final row came into view, and back came the memories. One on the left was open, and the one across from it still housed its long-dead resident. I stopped in-between the two and tried my best to find my voice.

“John…I know I kept most of my past a secret but, do you remember how I told you I came from a vault?” I asked and when I saw him nod his head from the corner of my eye, I continued on. My voice hadn’t broken once, but I didn’t know how long I could hold up. “These pods…they’re cryogenic. The vault was freezing its occupants…and we…myself and my family were put into them. The open one was my pod…and the one to my right…”

I broke off feeling my throat getting tight. I watched John take a step closer to my husband’s pod.

“Your husband,” he murmured. “Sunshine…I’m so sorry. If you want to get out of here-“

“No…No, I need somebody else to know what happened here. I can’t keep this inside anymore,” I said feeling tears spilling onto my cheeks.

John turned and put his arms around me in a gentle hug. “What was his name?”

“Nate,” I breathed. “We were put in the pods, frozen, and a while later, Nate and I were thawed. My pod didn’t open…but his did. I saw…I watched as people went up to him. There was an exchange of words, and when they tried to take our son Shaun from him forcibly, he resisted…until they shot him. I tried to get to him, but the pod wouldn’t open. I was refrozen…and I woke up a couple of days before I met you.”

One of John’s hands raised to the back of my head and stroked my hair softly.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea…I knew your past caused you pain to talk about, but you’ve been through hell,” he said, and I knew he finally understood what the nightmares must have been about. “Is this where you go each time we’re in Sanctuary? And where you came yesterday? To see your husband?”

I nodded my head. “I came to see him yesterday, because I needed to say a few things that I didn’t get a chance to say before…and to tell him something very important.”

John looked at me curiously but didn’t push me to say more. He knew I would tell him when I was ready.

“I had to tell him he didn’t need worry, because I have the best person in the Commonwealth watching my back,” I said with a small smile. Hancock’s dark eyes widened, and a faint blush colored his cheeks.

“Y-you trust me that much?” He asked quietly, and when I nodded my head he looked toward my husband’s pod. He removed his hat respectfully still holding my hand. “I promise I’ll look after her, no matter what. She’s made more changes out here so far than anyone else in recent memory. I know you already know this better than anyone, but she’s worth fighting for.”

I felt my heart swell. I loved John…I did. The day before I’d even mentioned that to Nate when I came to speak to him. I knew it was useless talking to a dead body, but it helped somehow. I hadn’t fully come to terms with my feelings until I’d spoken them out loud to Nate. Hearing my thoughts out loud seemed to solidify their reality, and I knew there was no going back. When Hancock turned back to me, I made a decision then and there. Forward was the only way I could move.

“Let’s go back to Sanctuary. I know you slept poorly and could use more, Sunshine,” John said hugging me softly.

“You go on ahead. I’ll be there in a bit, I promise,” I said with a smile. He nodded his head.

“Thank you for trusting me with this. It means a lot to me,” he said before making his way to the exit.

I didn’t get back to Sanctuary for at least another couple of hours, but when I did, I found John asleep sitting up against a wall in the house I’d built. Poor guy must have fallen asleep waiting for me. I wiped the dirt off my hands from covering the grave and sat beside John carefully so that I wouldn’t wake him. I gently rested my head on his shoulder, and he shifted a bit in his sleep.

“Sun…shine…” he muttered, and I thought I’d woken him until I looked up and saw his eyes still shut tight. I don’t know what time it finally happened, but I fell asleep on his shoulder with more closure than I’d had since the fucking nukes dropped.

\--

I woke up with an arm around my waist and soft gentle breaths against the back of my neck. The ground felt softer than it should, and when I finally cracked my eyelids open, I saw that I was on a mattress. I recognized the arm around my waist immediately as Hancock’s. The way he was cuddling me, the way he wrapped himself around me felt so natural. Hancock had always been flirty, but I hoped that was indicative of something deeper. He shifted slightly in his sleep, cuddling closer, and I was made aware of one part of him that was definitely awake even if the rest of him wasn’t. He was probably just thinking of some girl back in Goodneighbor.

I had almost drifted back to sleep when I heard a gentle moan from behind me and felt soft kisses from rough lips against the back of my neck. The arm around my waist drew me closer, closing whatever small gap was left so that my back was fully against his chest. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, and I was definitely awake now. The trip of lazy lips across the back of my neck made me bite my lip, and the hand at my waist slid to my hip. I turned my head very slightly to look at John, and when he opened his dark eyes and saw me, he froze. Confusion was plastered all over his face.

Oh.

I guess he _had_ been thinking of somebody back in Goodneighbor. Maybe a girlfriend or something. Whoever he was thinking of, it definitely hadn’t been me or he wouldn’t look so confused.

That realization hurt more than I had anticipated.

“Sunshine…” he murmured in a croaky, sleepy voice. “You’re…You’re not-“

He was interrupted by a knock on the doorframe. We both looked over and saw Preston standing in the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt, but my watch is up for the night,” he said, and I got out of bed.

“No worries, Pres. It’s my turn. Sorry, I should have been up earlier,” I said putting my shoes on and grabbing my gun. I headed out the door without a backward glance, hoping Hancock wouldn’t talk about what had just happened. Rejection hurts, obviously, but from him…I think it would kill me.

Preston had helped me tear down the ruins of an old building, and I had built a lookout tower in its place. It was that structure I was headed to now. I climbed the slotted stairs up to the top and sat in the chair facing Sanctuary’s entrance. Sunrise would be coming soon. I had always loved seeing the sun rising above Sanctuary, even if it did mean sacrificing a few hours of sleep. I made sure my gun was loaded and set it in front of me on the little table.

As I watched for movement on the horizon, my mind wandered back to John. I knew my own feelings for him were probably an exercise in futility. The man was a playboy. He didn’t get attached to people romantically, opting instead for keeping them at arm’s length. Too bad I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. It had been so long since I felt safe to open my heart to somebody else. Yeah, my marriage with Nate hadn’t been going well when the bombs fell, but Shaun had been our common priority. I hadn’t even considered ending it with Nate, because I didn’t want Shaun to have to deal with his parents being split up. After the bombs fell, I thought that was it for love. I had felt so guilty about Nate dying when we hadn’t had a chance to fully talk things through. Would we have worked out if the bombs hadn’t fallen? Would we have been able to get some sort of spark back in our relationship?

No. I don’t think we would have. I could never know for sure, but when those worries arose in the middle of the night, I comforted myself with the potential lie that we would have never worked things out. Even so, it had taken a while for me to realize that Hancock was worming his way into my heart in a way that Nate had never been able to do. I had felt anxious and had insomnia most nights before the bomb, but now even in the most dangerous of situations, I could rest easy because Hancock had my back. I felt safe with him like I never had with Nate. With Nate I always felt like I had to present a persona. I felt like I had to be somebody I wasn’t. He hadn’t liked me dusting off my law degree and jumping back into the legal arena. We had many fights over that subject, but he knew I could be stubborn as hell when I wanted to be. My career was something I never wanted to give up. The only reason that ended was the bombs.

The only reason a lot of things happened was the bombs dropping. The best of them – one of the only positive things – was meeting John.

But the way he looked at me only moments before I went on guard duty…it was like a knife to my chest.

Damn my mind for thinking I could trust anyone with something as vulnerable as my heart. I tried to control my breathing so I wouldn’t give in to the sobs that so desperately wanted to wiggle their way out of my throat. Nothing moved on the horizon, but I picked up my gun anyway, looking through the scope as if I’d spotted something. I had to at least act busy so I wouldn’t break down in tears.

\--

Sturges took over a few hours later, and I busied myself with turret maintenance. Well, I mean, none of the turrets really needed to be serviced, but I serviced them anyway. By the time I finished, I’d missed breakfast and was coming up on missing lunch as well. My stomach rumbled, but I couldn’t bring myself to go grab food from my bag. I knew John would be there, and I didn’t want to have that awkward conversation yet. Hell, knowing him it might not even be a conversation. I just didn’t want to see him look at me any differently than before. As I wiped some grease off my fingers from the turrets, I heard somebody clear their throat behind me. I put the rag in my pocket as I turned, and I all but froze when I saw John standing with a plate in his hand.

“You need to eat something, Sunshine. Thought you might be hungry, so I cooked a few things from our stash,” he said offering me the plate with a small smile.

Damnit. Why did he have to be so thoughtful? I mustered up a smile of my own and took the plate from him with a small ‘thank you.’ I took a seat on the sidewalk beside where I’d been working, and to my surprise, John sat beside me. In a desperate attempt to act like nothing was wrong, I started eating like normal. Normally, the silence was companionable…comfortable. But this…this was tense. I could barely swallow my food, and even when I did, my stomach was churning with the aftermath of all those feelings from this morning. I tried so hard to be invisible next to him as I ate, but obviously, that wasn’t working. I felt eyes burning into me, and I looked up to see John looking at me concerned.

“I can see you, you know,” he said quietly, and I felt my cheeks heat up. “Hey, if…if it’s what happened this morning…just before Preston, I mean…I’m sorry. I know that a ghoul gettin’ cozy and intimate is probably the last thing you’d ever want to experience, and I have no excuse for it. Hell, if it’d make you more comfortable, I’ll head back to the Neighborhood tonight.”

“What? No,” I said genuinely startled that he would even consider leaving. “John, I don’t mind what happened, just…just don’t tell whatever girl you were imagining that you kissed a former popsicle’s neck last night. She probably wouldn’t like that.”

I couldn’t make my eyes meet his at the thought of him with whatever girl he’d been dreaming of. I tried to force myself to smile, to look as if it wasn’t fucking ripping me apart from the inside out. John let out a small huff of laughter, and I assumed that meant everything was fine.

“Well, see…the thing is, I…” he broke off and took a shaky breath. “Sunshine…the person I was dreaming of was you.”

I felt my eyes widen, and I whipped my head up to face him. Was this all some sick joke? Or…Or could he possibly be serious? No, I couldn’t be that lucky, could I? Before I could open my mouth, he continued.

“When I opened my eyes and you were still there…when you looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes of yours, I…I felt my brain melt. You weren’t…you didn’t disappear like all the other times when a dream ended. You were right there in my arms, not moving away, just looking at me as if…as if I…”

He swallowed and took another deep breath before continuing.

“I know it ain’t pleasant waking up to this ugly mug every morning on the road, much less with it buried in your neck. I-I’m truly sorry. No way in hell does a gorgeous pre-war gal like you deserve to be put through such outrageous treatment, especially by a freak like me,” he said, but when he started to stand up, I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him back down. Hancock looked surprised that I’d even touched him. I set my plate aside and cupped his cheek softly. “S-Sunshine?”

“John, what the hell gave you the idea that I’m disgusted by you? If it’s something I did, I apologize with all my heart and soul, because you are the furthest thing from disgusting to me. I love waking up beside you on the road, and to tell you the truth, I enjoyed waking up in your arms this morning more than I should probably admit,” I said quietly. Suddenly, I was very aware of how close I was to admitting my feelings for him. Would he hate me? Would he leave immediately? “You’re not a freak, John. Y-You’re the person I’m most comfortable having by my side. You’re the person who makes me laugh and feel safe, even in terrifying situations. You’re…You’re the person I fell in love with.”

Hancock was silent for a moment, and I began to get the feeling I’d grievously fucked up by admitting all that to him. Maybe I should just run and save him the trouble. I blinked, feeling anxious tears welling up and letting my gaze drop from his. I began to pull my hands back from their resting places, but John put his hands over mine locking them in place. I heard a quiet call of my name in that raspy, beautiful voice, and I nearly flinched. One of his hands left mine and he tilted my chin up so I was forced to look at him.

“I need to know…Are you serious? Because I’ve never been so in love before as I am with you. I know I could never deserve you, but I—”

“Stop saying that,” I said firmly. It was the first confidence I’d been able to put into my voice since this had all begun, but damnit, I needed him to stop treating himself like shit. “Stop fucking saying horrible things about yourself. You are a good person, John Hancock. You may have moments in your life that you regret, but who doesn’t? What matters is that you are kind to people who need kindness, you help people who need to be helped, and you have the strongest sense of justice I’ve seen since I defrosted. You’re my home, John, and I don’t like people attacking my home, verbally or otherwise.”

John blinked a few times. I couldn’t tell if it was disbelief or some other emotion that crossed his face.

“I’m…your home?” He breathed. If he’d been any farther away, I wouldn’t have been able to hear him. I nodded my head in confirmation, and he cupped my cheek softly. “Do you mean that? Because I don’t think I could go on if this is just some elaborate joke. I love you. It scares me how much I love you. Every instinct I have is tellin’ me to get out while the getting is good before I fuck everything up, but…you’re the one person I could never run from. You’re my home, too, Sunshine. Always have been ever since you walked through the gate in Goodneighbor.”

“That why you made such a dramatic entrance?” I asked with a small teasing smile. Hancock let out a small huff of laughter.

“Well, how else is a Mayor gonna impress a beautiful new arrival? Besides, I’m bettin’ you liked me showin’ ya who’s boss in Goodneighbor,” he said with a wink. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and I felt my cheeks burning. I’d never mentioned that moment to him in anything other than a joking manner, but damn, he really knew how to read me. I breathed his name, thinking that I was going to explain myself or at least offer some kind of rebuttal, but that one syllable was all I could manage. He gave a toothy grin and leaned in, pressing his thin lips against mine in our first kiss. I absolutely melted into it, sliding my arms around his shoulders and kissing him with all I could muster. I’d imagined this moment so many times, but nothing could compare with the reality of having John’s lips against my own. When we broke apart for air a bit later, John gave me an inscrutable look. I cocked my head curiously, and he gave a sheepish smile. “You sure about this, Sunshine? Do you really wanna wake up next to me every morning?”

I leaned in and rested my forehead against his softly.

“I’m sure, John. I love you, and for the record, I love the way you look. Believe it or not, I find you incredibly attractive,” I murmured, and John’s arms went around my waist as soon as the words had left my lips. “Let’s go somewhere quieter, and I’ll show you just how much.”

John practically dragged me back toward my home, and I felt my cheeks burning brighter than I thought they could when he called out a loud “Do not disturb” to the rest of the residents within earshot before slamming the door closed behind us.


End file.
